Etsy

Sunday 9 September 2012

Another contender for best lie

In 1988, Governor Peter Mintrell, of New Jersey, found himself running for re-election against Cherie Switzler, the prostitute he’d been caught having sex with in the back of his official limousine 3 months previously, the scandal of which had led to the snap election. Mintrell had attempted to play the incident down, claiming at a press conference that he had been forced to sleep with the prostitute because of ‘a hysterical psychological condition she suffers from, which sends her into fits which can only be prevented by sexual intercourse.’ Mintrell, with his wife Sally by his side, further claimed that his limousine had only been in Switzler’s vicinity because his driver, Ernie Ballenti, had taken a detour to pick up a sick relative who lived there, leaving Mintrell alone in the car when he saw Mss. Switzler going in to convulsions.  
“I pulled her into the limousine because I thought she’d have less chance of injuring herself on the leather seats than if I left her on the sidewallk,”
he said, continuing, 
“Once in the limousine, I recognised her symptoms from a Discovery documentary I’d seen the week before, and knew that, no matter how uncomfortable I felt with it, my having sexual intercourse with this young lady may well have been the only way to save her life.”
Switzler entered the election race as an Independent, under the slogan ‘I’ve swallowed a lot of things, but I wouldn’t swallow that story.’ She pulled out of the race when Mintrell offered her a position on his staff.

©2012 James Mathurin 

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